


Heroes, Villains, and Life in the Gray Area

by lessislaur



Category: Renegades - Marissa Meyer
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Romance, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23672446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lessislaur/pseuds/lessislaur
Summary: After the Supernova, Nova still found herself confused about her place in the world. She knew she wasn't a villain anymore, but could she really be called a hero? Spoilers for Supernova!
Relationships: Nova Artino | Nightmare/Adrian Everhart | Sketch
Kudos: 17





	Heroes, Villains, and Life in the Gray Area

Nova Artino was a hero and a Renegade. She had helped save Gatlon City from destruction and had managed to get the guy of her dreams in the process. But she had also helped cause the almost-destruction of Gatlon City and had to fight off many of her friends in the process. In short, Nova didn’t feel like a hero. Adrian, her boyfriend, was a hero. His younger brother Max was too. Nova was messy and complex. She had hung up the mantle of Nightmare in favor of being Insomnia but she couldn’t delete her prior actions from her memory.  
These thoughts always plagued her, but being wrapped in Adrian’s arms while they watched another one of his classic movies made them more clear to her. Sometimes she wondered if she deserved this, if she deserved him. She loved him, and he loved her, but he was good and always had been. Even when he’d been sneaking around as the vigilante known as The Sentinel, he was good. She couldn’t say the same about herself. Nightmare was a villain. Sweet rot, Nightmare had tried to kill Captain Chromium, one of Adrian’s dads. She shifted in Adrian’s arms. He looked down at her, his eyes concerned behind the thick black frames of his glasses.  
“Everything alright?” he asked, brushing a lock of her dark hair out of her face.  
“Sort of,” she responded, adjusting herself to be seated next to him on the couch. He reached to grab the remote and paused the movie they were watching.  
“Sort of? What’s wrong? I can tell something is bugging you.” Nova sighed, looking at him. She used to be practically unreadable, back when she was Nightmare. An Anarchist.  
“Sometimes it’s hard to shake the feeling that I was responsible for what happened before the Supernova. I knew what they were planning. I planned parts of it. Adrian, I feel like I’m living a lie when people call me a hero. Sure, I supported the Renegades after the battle had already started, but a lot of people were already dead before I started helping. Sometimes it feels like their blood is on my hands. I just-” Nova’s voice cracked and she could feel her eyes brimming with tears. She blinked, and one slipped down her face. Nightmare didn’t cry, but after the Supernova, Insomnia found herself crying more and more. She glanced up at Adrian, realizing that while she was speaking she’d turned her gaze down toward her hands. His gaze was soft as he reached a hand up to cup her cheek and wipe one of her tears away.  
“You weren’t responsible, Nova. You were manipulated into believing that you were doing what was right. We all have things we regret doing that day but you ended up on the right side, and that’s what matters,” Adrian wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders, pulling her in. “We’ve all made mistakes and now we have to move past them and that’s hard.”  
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, letting his lips linger there for a second. Nova wrapped one of her arms around Adrian, pulling herself closer to him and letting her legs drape over his lap. It felt nice to be held. She turned her head into the crook of his neck and let herself cry real tears. Tears for the girl she used to be, hardened and jaded, believing that the Renegades weren’t there to save her that fateful night when she lost her family. Tears for her uncle, a man who wreaked havoc across the city and caused the deaths of her parents and sister, but still the one who raised her. Tears for the trust she had wrongfully placed in Alec Artino. Tears for Honey Harper, the woman she’d had to kill to save the boy she loved and herself. Honey, the woman who had once loved Nova and treated her like a daughter, only to end up hurting Nova and so many others. Tears for Evander Wade and Callum, people who had died fighting to make the world a better place. Callum. Nova choked on a sob. The boy who made her believe that it was possible to build a better place without destruction. Her coworker, who knew she was Nightmare before she was imprisoned. She continued crying, the realization that Callum would never see her be truly good settling like a weight on her heart. She cried for Winston Pratt, formerly the Puppeteer. She had fed him to the Renegades all those months ago. He was reformed and had seemed to be doing better before being killed in the massacre in the arena.  
She couldn’t say how long she cried but Adrian held her until she was done. Finally, when her sobs had dwindled to sniffles and hiccups, she pulled away from the crook of his neck. Adrian’s dark, loving eyes met her red-rimmed blue ones.  
“How are you feeling?” he asked quietly, rubbing her back.  
“I don’t know,” she responded, sniffling. “It’s hard knowing so many people are gone forever. And a lot of those people will only know me as Nightmare. Sometimes I wish I could change the past, or at least go back and tell myself that it’s going to get better.”  
“Nova, even when you were Nightmare and Insomnia, you were good. Misguided at times, but good. I fell in love with you when you were Nightmare, don’t forget that. You’re a good person who has had a hard life,” Adrian tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. Nova sighed. She wasn’t entirely convinced but she did feel better, at least for the time being. She gave Adrian a watery smile.  
“You’re right,” she admitted weakly, sliding her legs off his lap and returning her head to his shoulder. “Thank you.”  
Adrian looked over at her. “For what?” he asked.  
“For being here and for everything you do for me and have done. I’m really glad to be your girlfriend, even if you’re a bit of a neophyte at being a boyfriend.”  
Adrian smiled at the comment then kissed her forehead. “I’m not going anywhere, Nova. And I’m proud to be your neophyte of a boyfriend.”  
They stayed like that for a while, eventually letting the movie play again. Two teenagers, both with baggage, resting against each other. Former enemies turned allies. Nova inhaled Adrian’s comforting scent and reminded herself that she was a hero, even if Nightmare hadn’t been one. Nova Artino, alias Insomnia, was a hero and a Renegade, and it got easier to believe every time she thought it to herself.


End file.
